


numb.

by deathealers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, kind of? i mean yes idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:56:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathealers/pseuds/deathealers
Summary: there's an undescribable heaviness inside his chest, pressure in his veins, lump in his throat. he can't move, he can't speak.he can only watch...





	numb.

**Author's Note:**

> liSTEN THIS IS MY FIRST FIC please be kind

he watched as the man staggered back and shakily sat down, leaning against the ruins.

his eyes followed the ugly black trail that covered half of tony's face, still beautiful as ever, and his arm, and his side and-

 _we won_ , a voice in his head screamed, _we finally won._

they did. they won because of tony, strong smart beautiful tony who sacrificed himself again, who saved the universe, who wasn't moving or speaking as parker knelt down in front of him.

so many years spent in devastation, in anger and self hatred for not doing enough, for not saving his friends. countless nights filled with images of dust, that was once bucky, peggy, sam, nat, tony.

he's supposed to be bubbling with joy, celebrating, greeting his friends. the voice inside his head is screaming at him to do just that, to find buck, to find sam, to finally let himself be free.

but he can't. there's an undescribable heaviness inside his chest, pressure in his veins, lump in his throat. he can't move, he can't speak.

he can just watch as pepper puts her hand on tony's cheek, murmuring something. everything is happening so fast but so slow at the same time. it's like he knows he's falling and when he reaches the bottom it will be way too hard but he can't stop.

he wants to run, to kneel in front tony, to scream at him in anger, _why does it always have to be you?_

he wants to take pepper's place and run his fingers through tony's hair and scream at him in agony, _why does it always have to be you?_

he wants to hold him in his arms and tell him that they'd won, they did it together, _him and tony, together_.

he wants to scream at him that he can't leave because steve is a coward and he hasn't even began telling him all the things that need to be told. like how he's hundred years old and he never felt more alive than with tony by his side and how he has seen a lot but has never seen more magical than the shade of tony's eyes and how it's not fair and he knows he's selfish but _why does it always have to be you?_

but he can't.

he can't do anything but stand and watch as the light on tony's chest dulls, just like the one in tony's eyes.

the lump in his throat is huge and god, he's gonna be sick and he feels his heart beating but it's empty. he feels it beating but his whole chest hurts from the hollowness inside.

he doesn't feel anything as he falls onto his knees. he doesn't feel the burn of the tears in his eyes. he doesn't feel bucky's hand on his shoulder. he only feels his heart beating and reminding him that tony's isn't.

a whisper to himself.

"why did it have to be you?"

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: 3000stony


End file.
